"Whatever you do will be unimportant. But it is very important that you do it."
I guess I should get moving.
[Thursday, October 12th, 2006 @ 18:07]
I think/hope tomorrow really is the day for reserves for Nintendo Wii. I'm tired of stores lying and bullshitting the fact they do know, they just suck. I was thinking about not getting it, I mean, thats a good chunk of money I could use elsewhere. I'll be honest, it's probably something I can live without. But then I thought about it again, and I'm already behind with the technology in my apartment. So I figure, if I can't have a computer(for the time being), I'll take a Wii.
On a weird note: I feel like I am going to have a heart attack or like I'm going to stop breathing. I feel panicy and paranoid. I need sleep, and a good amount of it.
I'm happy it's almost the weekend. This week at work has been strangely painful.
At some point this month, I need to buy a bed frame. Haha. I'm such a bum about it too. I guess I just can't really care if I have it or not. Its another necessity thing, like TV. I don't really need it, but I'll get around to it sooner or later. Lazy, I know.
I'm feeling the need to get out and do new things or even meet people and not be a bitch to them. I'm not comfortable with this feeling mainly because I'm in a position where everything is okay. Things are good, peaceful and happy. I fear that any change in this pattern may cause depression or loss of control. So I think to remedy this I will just call the people I don't talk to very often. In a sense it's a 'new' type of feeling as I do not see them often and it won't seem overly foreign
I got to spend time with my mom this weekend which was nice. Her and I went to Grass Lake with Cindy and Mitch ('little brother' and his mom). We had a lot of fun, though I was/am a little sad they had to put Jack down. Now, keep in mind that little smelly dog was around as long as I can remember and it's just weird that we all kept making cracks he would live forever. I'll miss Jack.
I explained to my mother the main reason why I rarely come over and for why I dislike my brother SO MUCH. Sunday at dinner he was an asshole to everyone, not surprising to me. I decided not that long ago that I am going to boycott my brothers wedding when it happens. I refuse to go, I refuse to have him around in my life. My dad's birthday was last week. I almost forgot about it, but I had to rub in it. Lets face it he's old and it's easier to pick on him than accept the fact that his health is going down hill faster than a landslide. Could it be worse yes, but its still far from good.
Ryan and I both agree that you cannot watch movies at night without getting tired. We have started at least 5 movies and never seen the endings. It's depressing.
On a final note: I'm done calling and done trying to hang out with a few people. At this time, right now, I'm fed up with your inability to keep plans or to even return calls and messages. I understand everyone is busy, but that's not a great excuse to not return calls or at least let me know you are too busy. Is it THAT hard? Probably not. If a minute of your day is going to kill you, I would hate to see what happens if we actually hang out. Yikes! (And that probably sounds worse than I meant it to)
I had a good laugh this afternoon about how stupid and fake some people can be. You can't hide forever...
Anyway...I'm actually slightly happy I don't have cable or internet yet. It's given me a chance to spend time with my mother and to catch up on my reading. It sucks when you buy books and forget about them.
I'm still playing hermit. The weather is getting colder, so I should hibernate. Looking for a second job to fill all my free time SUCKS. No place wants me :-( If anyone has ideas, let me know.
Tool was on Friday, it was FUCKING AMAZING. Being poor, I couldn't buy a shirt or hoodie. I am sad about that, but I'm sure I'll live. For those of you who don't understand the fuss, go to YouTube and search for videos...you won't be sorry.
I saw lesbians at the concert. They were the punk-goth sort but were TOTALLY lifting up their skirts for people and not wearing bra or panties. I found this to be fun, mainly because Ryan missed out on it for a beer run and the girls were beyond drunk. HAHAHA.
Saturday we went to see Jackass 2. (We = Ryan and I) It was great stupid fun and I love the fact they've capitalized on such a cheap concept to where it's nothing but profit. Crazy I say!!!
Sunday was a lazy day, but at least I now have sheets for my bed so I don't have to feel like I'm laying on a mattress in the department store. Ick. I also got to see Jontastic on Sunday. He was gone for two weeks, which isn't a WHOLE lot, but it sure seemed like it.
Other than that, I got some WoW time in and have cleaning to do at my apartment. Things still aren't put away...that's a problem. So this week will be more WoW and cleaning/picking up.